59 pages • 1 hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of mental illness, death, emotional abuse, animal death, substance use, and sexual content.
Lucy starts crying as Bree walks down the aisle to Pachelbel’s Canon in D at the wedding. She walks down the procession with groomsman Charlie Rosen and immediately finds Stephen in the crowd watching her. The woman he is with now is sitting next to him, and when she starts wondering why they are there, she sees that the woman is wearing an engagement ring. Lucy starts to feel overwhelmed but realizes that she needs to get through it, as she cannot become so focused on her issues that she allows them to negatively affect those around her.
The novel flashes back as Lucy thinks about graduation and her last days at Baird. Jackie and Billy are both angry at her infidelity, and Jackie tries to tell Lucy that Stephen does not love her and will never change, using lyrics from Fleetwood Mac’s song “Dreams.” Lucy does not listen, however, believing that Jackie does not understand the complexity of her relationship with Stephen. She then applies for multiple jobs before CJ helps her get her job at The Suitest, hoping that it will help her get into travel writing. Lucy then moves into an apartment with Bree, with Jackie and Pippa having moved to Los Angeles. Lucy and Stephen celebrate her getting her job with a nude FaceTime meeting while Alice is gone.
Alice makes scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast and turns on the television, putting on an episode of one of her favorite reality shows. Stephen is annoyed with her interest in reality shows and her poor cooking and domestic skills. He has distanced himself from her and reads for one of his classes. Alice appears irritated by this, but Stephen says that he needs to do it and then says that he will go to the library to start studying. She asks him what he wants for dinner later, and he says not to worry about him. He has become annoyed at how attached she is to him, wishing she had a social life to occupy her. He asks about the lease, and she says that there is no lease because her grandfather owns the apartment. This both irritates and relieves Stephen, who is hoping to eventually leave once he submits his law review application.
After getting an apartment with Bree, Lucy gets a text from Stephen. He asks her to meet him for a drink later that night and says that he has something to tell her. When she arrives at the restaurant, she finds herself drawn to Stephen even as she realizes that she does not trust him. Stephen tells her that he will be staying with Alice until he completes his law review application at the end of July. This enrages Lucy, who feels that Stephen keeps lying to her and using her for sex while treating Alice horribly. She then walks out.
Stephen follows Lucy and explains that he is only staying with Alice so that he can live in her grandfather’s apartment, as a commute between Long Island and Manhattan would complicate his academic life. She accepts his answer, and they kiss. She concludes that while Stephen and CJ might not be good people, neither is she, with the things she has done. They go to the apartment and have sex on the mattress before drinking beers. Before Stephen leaves, he tells her he loves her, confirming to her that her devotion was worth it. She says that she loves him too.
Stephen meets Alice in Washington Square Park and tells her that he is not happy and wants to end the relationship. She breaks down and asks how she can fix things and why he wants to leave, but he insists that it is for the best and that she deserves someone better. When she accuses him of having sex with Lucy, whom she knows Stephen has been texting, he denies it vehemently. After they repeat the conversation, Stephen grows tired and gives her a written letter that he tells her to read. He then leaves and goes to Lucy’s apartment, where he tells her about the breakup. He says that he genuinely loves her and asks to stay at her apartment occasionally, which she accepts. Stephen says that this is their time to be together as a full-fledged couple.
Lucy and Stephen are on the way to Westhampton to visit Stephen’s family. Lucy’s father called her the previous night to tell her that the family dog, Hickory, is going to be euthanized the following day. Hickory is 15 years old and has been declining for a while. Lucy’s father asked her to come and say goodbye, but Lucy declined, citing her desire to remember Hickory as her healthier self. Her real reason not to go is that it would conflict with her visit with Stephen to meet his grandfather. On the way, the song “Zombie” by The Cranberries plays, and Stephen turns it off, saying that he hates that song.
When the couple arrives, the family welcomes Lucy. However, Daniel is surprised that Stephen has another girlfriend, and Sadie is angry at Stephen for cheating on and breaking up with Alice. Lucy is worried that they think of her negatively, but Stephen assures her that they love her and that he loves her. They plan to have sex when the others go to bed, and Lucy is happy knowing that Hickory is at peace now. She feels troubled when she realizes that Hickory died on August 16—the same day Macy died.
Stephen has a vivid nightmare of being strangled by Macy’s hair during the crash. His phone wakes him, and his father tells him that his mother has been stabbed and is unconscious following surgery. Though Stephen says that he has an exam and will go to the hospital after that, he decides to go right away to appease his family. He stays until a couple hours before his exam and decides to go straight to New York University. He thinks about Macy again. After the party, Macy was driving him home, but he wanted her to give him oral sex in the truck, so he went into the driver’s seat. He was too drunk, however, and went off the side of the road, causing the truck to crash and Macy to break her neck, killing her instantly. Realizing that his future was on the line, he made it look like she was alone and walked back home.
Before boarding the subway, he finds himself shedding tears for the first time since childhood. After the exam, he has lunch, and Lucy calls during her lunch break. She says that Lydia’s friend Charlotte saw him have dinner with another woman at Crif Dogs a week ago. Stephen recalls going there after a party and meeting a woman named Jillian, whose lack of judgment attracted him. He and Lucy get into an argument. When she asks about coming to meet her parents, he says that he is busy with his mother being in the hospital and his law brief. After hanging up, he decides that he is done with Lucy and wants to go on another date with Jillian.
Lucy gets a text from Lydia. When she calls Lydia, she learns that Charlotte saw Stephen holding hands with another woman. This distresses her, and she calls Stephen, but he doesn’t answer. She, Lydia, and Bree are going to run a half-marathon, and she hopes that Stephen will come see her. They go to Lydia’s house in Sagaponack, but Lucy gets no text or call from Stephen. After completing the marathon with Lydia and Bree, she gets multiple congratulations but none from Stephen. This sends her into a depression that makes her feel unwell. After Bree and Lucy return to the city for Bree’s date with Evan, Lucy texts Stephen, asking if he is alive. He replies that he has been busy. Soon after, he texts her that they need to talk on Friday at Dudley’s bar.
After five days, Lucy meets Stephen at the bar, and he coldly breaks up with her, telling her that they never loved each other and are not right together. Knowing it is over for good, Lucy leaves. Back at the apartment, she cries so hard that her nose bleeds. Bree finds her and helps her clean up. After resting, she wakes up to CJ packing her belongings for a weekend trip, with Bree having called her. On the road, Lucy tearfully confronts CJ about the affair, and she breaks down, apologizing for the affair and for not telling Lucy the truth. She explains that the affair lasted only a month and that she regrets it. She and Ben worked through it and decided that it would be best for Lucy and Georgia not to know. Lucy then confesses to having disposed of Marilyn’s jewelry, and they tearfully forgive each other. Lucy then suggests that the four of them go to Chatham to spread Hickory’s ashes, an idea that CJ likes.
Back in 2017, Lucy is panicked about seeing Stephen in the church, and Jackie takes her into one of the cars to go to the reception, ahead of the other bridesmaids. When they reach the reception, Lucy tells them about the engagement. Lucy goes to her table and watches Bree and Evan dance their first dance, their visible love bringing her to tears.
Lucy is surprised to hear Stephen talk to her. Stephen tries to catch up on life with her, but to her surprise, she finds herself apathetic about him. She sees him objectively for the first time, and when he asks to walk with her, she refuses, saying that she needs to be with Bree. Lucy also asks him about Macy, remembering her words about dating an older boy from Bayville. He denies having known her, but she knows he is lying. He asks why she asked, and she leaves without a word.
Lucy then calls her mother, telling her everything except what she knows about Macy. Her mother tells her that she knew a man like that named Cole Hammond, and Lucy says she understands now that Stephen only saw her as something he could use. She also says that she wants to leave New York and be a travel writer, which CJ supports. Lucy tells her mother that she loves her, and CJ says she loves her too. Lucy then returns to the reception.
Part 4 acts as the third act of the novel, in which Lucy and Stephen’s relationship finally collapses as a result of Stephen’s selfishness and deception. This leads Lucy, the protagonist, to finally let go of the toxic relationship that has held her down for years, realize her dreams again, and reconcile with her mother.
The novel’s denouement shows enormous character growth for Lucy: In the first act, she wanted Stephen in her life more than anything and saw only what she wanted to see in him. By the Epilogue, she understands that he never loved her and enjoyed her pain, and she has fallen out of love with him completely as she has learned to love herself. With this growth comes a willingness to confront The Ongoing Influence of the Past. She finally tells CJ about seeing her with Gabe, and after CJ apologizes and explains why she did it and how she and her father worked through it, Lucy begins to forgive her. She also accepts that she has also made terrible mistakes, such as getting rid of Marilyn’s jewelry. The scene in which Lucy and CJ mutually forgive each other suggests that Lucy will now be able to build her future on a foundation of trust.
In the Epilogue, Lucy confronts Stephen and, having seen true love between Bree and Evan, no longer feels anything for him except pity. Stephen follows the same cycle of Manipulation and Control in Relationships with Alice and Lucy that he did with Diana, Jenna, and Macy, growing tired of Alice and breaking up with her before doing the same with Lucy. At the wedding, he is engaged to Jillian, but he tries once again to charm Lucy, showing her that he will always be a manipulator who sees her as a plaything. In the past, this indifference to Lucy’s emotions gave him power over her. Now, the power dynamic has flipped: She sees him as someone who may never know real love, and she pities him.
By moving back and forth in time, between the wedding in 2017 and the final months of Lucy’s relationship with Stephen in 2014, the novel shows how far Lucy has come. With Lucy fully in his life in 2014, Stephen continues using romantic gestures and mind games to get her to have sex with him. Eventually, Stephen loses interest in manipulating and getting sex out of Lucy and leaves her for Jillian. However, at the wedding, he stares at her, and during the reception, he tries to charm her again. This time, though, Lucy knows who Stephen is and what real love is and rejects his advances, finally taking control of their dynamic. In doing so, Lucy resolves The Tension Between Desire and Moral Clarity. In the 2014 sections, Lucy accepts Stephen’s immoral behavior by telling herself that she is not a good person either. By 2017, with CJ’s help, she has realized that she doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect.
Music acts as a motif representing manipulation and control in relationships, with Jackie using the chorus of Fleetwood Mac’s song “Dreams” to try to show Lucy that Stephen’s love is not real and is only a method of manipulation. When CJ drives Lucy out of the city, she plays the song “Never Going Back Again,” which mirrors the truth that Lucy is not going back to Stephen this time. The song “Loving You Easy” by Zac Brown Band, which plays during Bree and Evan’s first wedding dance, also supports this by showing their real love in contrast to the false, manipulative love that Stephen gave Lucy. Seeing the couple dance to this song helps Lucy realize what real love should look like and completely lose interest in Stephen. “Zombie” by The Cranberries appears again as a reminder of the ongoing influence of the past—a warning to Stephen that even if he gets away with killing Macy, he will never be able to escape what he did, which is why he hates the song.
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