60 pages • 2 hours read
Pen Pal
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Themes
The Transcendence of Love Beyond the Physical Realm
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual violence and harassment, mental illness, child abuse, pregnancy loss, graphic violence, sexual content, death, physical abuse, and emotional abuse.
As a dark romance, Pen Pal is ultimately about the love story between Aidan and Kayla. Many romances frame their love stories as transcendent or supernatural, but Pen Pal takes this trend a step further by portraying the main characters as ghosts trying to find each other after death. In Dante’s poem, he augments Alighieri’s “[l]ove that moves the sun and the other stars” to mean his love for Kayla (65), and the novel’s events support this claim. From the beginning, Kayla and Aidan feel a pull toward one another that defies their expectations, and they consistently find auspicious similarities in how they think and feel for each other. Though the novel concludes with the assertion that Kayla and Aidan’s ghosts need revenge, their ultimate moment of relief centers on the reunion, finding each other after Michael murdered them. Kayla and Aidan’s love story is about the potential for destiny or fate to arrange a romance that exists beyond physical, corporeal relationships, extending into and beyond the afterlife.
Throughout the novel, strange deviations from Aidan and Kayla’s norms hint at a preternatural attraction. Kayla notes, “And for some bizarre reason, I instinctively trust you, which doesn’t happen for me with anyone, but especially with men” (122). This indicates how Kayla usually approaches potential romances with increased caution. Even with Michael, she adds that she did not let Michael into her home for six months. With Aidan, however, Kayla promptly goes to his home, has sex with him, and gladly invites him into her own home. Jake’s analysis also shows that Aidan is traditionally opposed to long-term relationships and often trusts no one. Jake says, “He likes you…And Aidan doesn’t like anybody” (111). Both Aidan and Kayla are exceptions to each other’s usual terms of engagement. Beyond mere attraction, the author shows how they thrive off each other. For example, each describes the effect their relationship has on them as “cathartic” and “transformative.”
Critically, these feelings carry over into the afterlife; the revelations of the end of Inferno and the beginning of Paradiso restructure the entire novel into a journey to get back to each other. Before their deaths, Kayla asks Aidan about Dante’s final line in The Divine Comedy and what he thinks heaven is. Aidan responds, “You,” and Kayla “finally let[s] go of [her] past and [her] fears and fall—jump—rush headlong—in love with him” (329). The conclusion of the novel shows that heaven, for both Aidan and Kayla, is their relationship, free from the boundaries of mortal life. Even as Kayla tries to analyze her time as a ghost, Aidan stops her, saying, “None of that matters now. What matters is that we’re together” (349). The end of the novel explicitly states that Aidan and Kayla need revenge on Michael. Even as they achieve this in the end, they do it together, reunited in the afterlife.
The Impact of Unresolved Grief and Guilt
From the beginning of the novel, Pen Pal centers on Kayla’s grief over Michael’s death. At his funeral, she thinks, “There’s a Michael-shaped hole in my chest, and nothing matters anymore” (3). This sets up the narrative as Kayla’s journey to overcome or resolve her grief, which she describes as a nasty voice in her head that says, “Your husband hasn’t been dead a full month yet, and you’ve already had sex with another man!” (96). These combined feelings of guilt and grief are further complicated by Kayla’s refusal to acknowledge anything that happened regarding Michael’s death, even explicitly acknowledging her denial as “a box up on a high shelf in the back of my mind for safekeeping” (45). As more of Kayla’s true story comes out, the concept of grief and guilt shifts from Michael’s “death” to the real love story between Kayla and Aidan—and its tragic end.
In part, Kayla is correct in her consistent fear that the mysterious events around the house are caused by her lapses in memory and possible hallucinations brought on by grief. Kayla notes that “there also could have been a small earthquake I missed that would account for” the strange occurrences in the house (131). Some memories manage to break out of the “box” on that high shelf, such as the memory of laughter when Michael “died” and the “pain, screaming, blood coursing down my bare thighs” paired with “a stranger’s voice, full of rage” during Kayla’s pregnancy loss (219). These memories pierce through Kayla’s grief and guilt, foreshadowing that Michael was not the perfect husband she chooses to remember. Critically, these memories shift the grief and guilt from Kayla’s loss to the possibility of Kayla’s death.
Clarity comes in the final parts of the novel when Kayla realizes that her grief and guilt are not tied to Michael’s “death.” Rather, they are tied to her death and the death of her lover, Aidan. Kayla finally acknowledges that, even though her marriage has been over for a long time, it still hurts and always will. As a result, Kayla is not grieving the end of her marriage as much as she is grieving the trauma of that marriage. Her funeral for her wedding ring and marriage certificate reflects an overcoming of trauma, not grief. This allows her to be more fully invested in her relationship with Aidan. Nonetheless, her and Aidan’s relationship was cut short by Michael’s intervention, and Kayla’s stance that “my past is dead and buried, my future still awaits” is tainted by her death (323). The “storm” of Inferno is Kayla’s grief over her death and the untimely end to her relationship with Aidan.
The Contrast Between Sexual and Romantic Equity
Pen Pal contrasts Kayla’s relationships with Aidan and Michael, in which Aidan, though violent in bed, is more caring and compassionate as a romantic partner. The author thus contrasts the violence Aidan brings to the bedroom with the violence Michael deployed in abusing Kayla after they got married. As Kayla retrieves memories of how little power and control she had in her marriage, Aidan consistently allows Kayla to take more control over their affair. Even early in their relationship, Aidan assures Kayla, “We can do anything or nothing. I don’t expect you to have any answers right now” (96). This explicitly puts Kayla in a position of power to determine the course of their relationship. Critically, Aidan often expresses concern after aggressive sex, which contrasts Michael’s cruelty, where he failed to provide compassion and care toward Kayla.
Kayla’s relationship with Michael is unclear for most of the novel, as Kayla deliberately attempts to avoid accurate memories of the abuse she experienced at Michael’s hands. Aidan provides the necessary context, asking, “You know what happens when you’re so smart, everyone treats you like you’re God? You start to believe you are” (319). Michael’s god complex, which the novel later categorizes as narcissistic personality disorder, serves to highlight his abusive nature. This pulls the focus back to Kayla’s pregnancy loss and the miscellaneous bruises and marks she finds on herself and in pictures of herself. Combined, these details expose how Michael would physically abuse and torment Kayla to maintain control of their marriage. His obsession with control extends beyond their marriage, as Michael stalked Kayla and Aidan, murdered them both, and claimed self-defense when charged with his crimes. Additionally, Kayla’s memory includes Michael’s laughter, saying, “Even underwater, I can hear his evil laugh” (342). This shows how Michael enjoyed hurting Kayla.
Geissinger starkly contrasts Michael’s narcissism and violence with Aidan’s sexual and romantic behavior, which are themselves contrasting. Aidan and Kayla’s sex is intense, and it usually involves force and violence, such as spanking, harsh thrusting, and the insistence that Kayla call Aidan “master” or “sir.” Kayla compares Aidan to a lion, and he compares her to a rabbit, creating imagery of slaughter. However, Aidan always expresses concern for Kayla after the fact, such as calling Kayla “my good, beautiful girl,” and asking, “Are you hurting? Did I hurt you?” (205). Unlike Michael, Aidan does not want to hurt Kayla, and he is consistently worried that his sexual violence will cause real harm. Aidan also insists on Kayla’s use of a safe word, protecting her from situations in which Aidan might go too far in their sexual play. The most revealing aspect of the contrast between Michael and Aidan is that Aidan does not use violence to control the relationship. In the bedroom, Aidan is the “master,” but, in their overarching relationship, Aidan does not try to force Kayla to do anything she does not want.
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