Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier

In these chapters, Winfrey and Brooks delve into the importance of emotional self-management, a tool that undergirds the book’s theme of Individual Agency as a Key to Happiness. Metacognition, emotional substitution, and focusing on the “I-self” are highlighted as strategies for improving psychological well-being. All three strategies emphasize the importance of shifting focus from external validation and comparison to internal self-awareness and care for others. Overall, these approaches place the onus on the individual to take control of their emotions and cultivate a healthy sense of self, rather than relying on external factors for validation and happiness.

As in Chapter 1, Brooks and Winfrey continue to use food metaphors to illustrate the concepts they discuss, creating imagery that is at once effective and easily relatable for a wide range of audiences. In the first chapter, for example, the authors liken happiness to a delicious meal, saying that when people attempt to describe happiness, they are only describing the smell of the meal, not the meal itself. Similarly, Chapter 3 uses the metaphor of caffeine to explain emotional substitution. As the authors state, “Most people use caffeine because they aren’t content with the way they feel naturally […] Caffeine is a good metaphor for […] emotional self-management: You often don’t have to accept the emotion you feel first. Rather, you can substitute a better one that you want” (52). By likening emotional substitution to a common substance that many readers may consume on a daily basis, Brooks and Winfrey make the concept of emotional self-management easily understandable.

Expanding upon their efforts to utilize accessible frameworks for their ideas, the authors also continue to explain emotions in terms of evolutionary biology. This approach roots the text in a scientific understanding of human behavior and contextualizes emotions as adaptive responses to the environment. As the text states, “[N]egative emotions such as anger and fear activate the amygdala, which increases vigilance toward threats […] This makes good evolutionary sense: half a million years ago, taking time to manage your emotions would have made you a tiger’s lunch” (40-41). The authors use this evolutionary-based approach to establish their arguments as evidence-based and credible. Moreover, this framework acknowledges that the emotional self-management techniques espoused in the book may initially seem counterintuitive or difficult. However, Brooks and Winfrey explain that emotional reactions that may seem second-nature are actually maladaptive in the context of a modern world and should be consciously managed for to create better outcomes. As the authors emphasize, “In the modern world, however, stress and anxiety are usually chronic […] Odds are, you no longer need your amygdala to help you outrun the tiger […] Instead, you use it to handle the nonlethal problems that pester you all day long” (41). Modern individuals, they imply, do not have to be at the mercy of their emotions or primal reactions. Instead, they can actively manage and control their emotions to achieve better outcomes.

Winfrey and Brooks continue to challenge conventional perceptions of emotions by proposing nuanced definitions for certain terms. For instance, they discuss the difference between compassion and empathy. They debunk the notion that empathy is an “unalloyed virtue” and posit that it is a far more passive experience than compassion, for it involves sharing someone else’s emotions, while compassion involves taking action to alleviate suffering. This nuanced understanding of emotions mirrors Brooks and Winfrey’s approach to defining pleasure and enjoyment in Chapter 1. As with that pair of definitions, the authors once again define a set of terms through juxtaposition; they emphasize the subtle differences between two terms by setting them side by side within the same hypothetical example in order to challenge the reader’s preconceived notions on the topic.

It is also important to note that in Chapter 4, Brooks and Winfrey deliver a resounding critique of the omnipresent effects of social media, comparing it to a modern mirror that obstructs interpersonal connection and prevents true happiness. This metaphor once again allows the authors to make extensive use of a compelling physical image in order to relate an array of abstract concepts. As the text states, “Mirrors are inherently attractive, as are all mirrorlike phenomena, such as social media mentions...But mirrors are not your friend” (78). Thus, the authors argue that social media promotes a culture of comparison and superficiality, leading individuals to prioritize image and validation over genuine relationships. This concept hints at the book’s theme of The Importance of Interpersonal Connection, which the authors explore further in their subsequent chapters on friendship and family.